I AM GETTING THE "F" OUTTA THE MATRIX (Compromised values (10))

Updated: Sep 30

Day 10


Compromised Values

Yesterday, I compromised and had a fast food extravaganza. I usually do not eat fast food because I have seen the effects of not eating it versus eating eat, and I can feel the difference. Plus, I am proud of my 50-year-old non-dad body, body. I got the washboard stomach and all. I am bragging because I have seen some of my 50-year-old counterparts. Many of them have allowed their bodies to go to hell. Today, I took that route and was on some "F it" as I went to Whataburger and ordered.

I tried to Jedi my mind and ordered a salad to set off my chicken sandwich, a large Dr. Pepper shake, and fries. I knew I would pay for this, so I said to myself (the wrong way to think), If I am going to pay for it, then do what I want for the day. I went to 7-11 and got a donut and some Sweet Tart Candy. I got home, and as I was writing, eating junk and did not care about the destruction I was putting on my body. I later did an interview with a Ph.D. psychologist and her husband, who is a financial expert, for my podcast. Their interview made me feel ashamed that I chose to do this.

The show will feature them in a dual interview, discussing money's psychology and how it affects disenfranchised communities. My focus is on how Generation X (we are now the disenfranchised community)thinks about money and the attitude associated with having access to things they typically do not have because of financial constraints. I tied this in because it affects our mood, finances, health, and self-esteem.

Dr. Gasby was very on point when talking about how disenfranchised people view money versus people with access. We also talked about how it affects us physically and mentally. Mr. Gasby tales about financial decisions based on impulse buying, and I remember when I was at the counter, and my impulse was to buy all that crap. Between the saturated fat, sugar, and frozen/chemical-laden food, I had a cocktail of "unhealthy choices." What was crazy was that when I looked around, so many other people were doing just like me.

I thought about how some people do this regularly. I made fast food my heaven and my go-to for years before I started living healthier. All that went out the window today. I knew the first bite of that salad and that sandwich would feel great. The problem with that is the after-effects. There is a cause and effect in everything. The impact of my fast food binge is this morning.

I am feeling lethargic, lazy, and confused. I went to bed late, ate junk food late, and in my mind, I thought I would not wake up feeling this way. Now I have decided to

punish myself with my morning workout. I know that if I fall off the wagon, I cannot stay off. I must immediately self-correct and get back to my routine. I have to get back to discipline; although it felt great at the time, my body is feeling it. Put it this way; I am spending extra time on the toilet this morning. There are consequences to every action. Still, I do not do this frequently. It had been over a few months since I walked into a fast food place, so this once-in-a-while thing only meant I got to suffer for my bad decisions and correct my actions by recommitting.

I am not a machine; yes, I give in to the commercials, advertisements, and rows of restaurants too. Some days those fries are calling me, and yesterday was that day. Now I am dealing with the aftermath of my decisions. Based on how I feel, I can't believe some people are eating this crap every day. Yes, I can. I used to be one of them.

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