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Updated: Feb 14, 2021

I was having one of those series of unfortunate events kind of days, One thing after another. It was pure crazy. First, I was moving out of my old apartment and to a new one. I was feeling good at the beginning of that process, but as that issue unfolded, my series of events began. I had finalized some things, so I went to the office. I asked for the office manager, who was very cool (I think she liked me a little). When I went in, to my surprise she was no longer with the company (already bad news).

Now, I am talking with the new property manager and she clamed she was unaware of any move. I told her that me and the previous PM did all the paperwork. I was scheduled to move to my new place in 2 days. She checks the system and says, “There is no authorization to make your move.” Then asked kind of sarcastically, “are you sure you put in for a transfer?” Now, I am internally angry, but maintain my cool. Because I speak to clients and audiences about managing controllable aspects of a scenario and how to stay in control when the situations out of, and this one was quickly getting out of control. As I am encouraging her to check more thoroughly, here appearance mimics mine from about 10 minutes earlier. It was the look of being puzzled at the fact I even questioned her authority.

She reiterated that the transfer documents are not in the system and then asks one more time, are you sure you completed the process, while accusing me of incompetence, she began to paint a picture of the computer getting rid of my information after some time, because I did not finalize the process. Either way she was not willing to take any responsibility, and in-fact chose to double down. I realize that being rational was not going to work, so I finally called a person I was friendly with, that worked for the company that owned the building, to see if they could assist.

About two hours later, I get a call from the Property Manager informing me that she found the information and I could start my move tomorrow if I like. I wondered, (a) did my friend have enough juice to move my complaint and deal with it, (b) did the Property Manager have a change of heart or (c) she was attempting to cover-up her inexperience, by appearing authoritative. I am going with a combo of A & C. Cannot be sure, but I felt she was either coaxed or inexperienced. She did not really have a change of heart. For her it was more about her getting in trouble verses accommodating her resident.

Reading on the website, it talks about the fact that we do what we can to avoid blame by casting it upon another. An interesting article I read discussed how a phenomenon called Cognitive Dissonance, results from attempting to marry conflicting thoughts, to make sense of things. That does not work. In fact, what the article, Personal Responsibility 101: Why Is It So Hard to Own Up to Our Mistakes states, “When our own thoughts and behaviors, or the accusation of another, challenges our cherished concept, we experience what is called cognitive dissonance – a form of mental discomfort and tension. Cognitive dissonance arises when you attempt to hold two conflicting beliefs/attitudes/ideas/opinions at the same time.” (McKay, B&K, February 18, 2013)

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