It is crazy but I have found a way to turn a profit from my grief. It sounds dirty but truly it is not.
First I found it on accident and next, how I found it was in a way I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Now, let me explain. I was in my car one day driving and crying over my dead wife (she had been dead for two years at that point). I understand that it can take some time.
But back to the story, so I am in the car crying and I am listening to CNN. At this time Syria was being rocket attacked and this man was being interviewed, just after a rocket hit his apartment and out of 3 generations, he was the only survivor.
I remember during the interview he was we asked, what was he going to do. The man’s response was amazing. He simply replied “Allah will protect me”. At that moment, I pulled into a parking lot and got myself together.
I am saying to myself, this man just lost his entire family (sure he is in shock) but his response to the question was amazing to me. Not in a yeah whatever kind of way, more like, my God what am I &?tchi%g about. Truthfully you can never compare pain so no matter what, pain is pain (mine, his, or anybody reading this post). I take nothing away from that, just looking at myself, I realized that there was so much hurt and pain in the world and if I could do my little part, then I’m good.
Some time passed and I met a mentor that talked to me about becoming certified to address grievers. His thoughts aligned with my seeing the need help address grief.
I have since received a few certifications and have gone into practice. Doing this serves two masters.
One, we were a two income family and when my wife died, in addition to losing the love of my life, I was also down 70K per year. I also have a child at Brandeis and previously one at Hampton. Both schools are not cheap and sympathy only goes so far.
A byproduct of being a consultant is the ability to now see light (before my light was hung on pure hope). I am helping others and it is also helping me.
I clearly never would have ventured this path if fate had not lead me, but since I do not believe in coincidences, I have now embraced this as a new part of my journey, which is leading me to my destiny.
Trust me, it is crazy because frankly, I was not ever this type of person (God works in mysterious ways). Now I live to help others work through their hurt and pain.
I am not advocating that people grieving start a business, I am saying that is what I have done. I am saying that grievers have to learn to think outside of the box because the situation has changed for them and they can’t constantly use old moves in a new arena (a little sports 🏀analogy).
For me, I realized that I needed to think differently and see my personal grief differently. Less as pain and more as a leaning experience that I can use to assist other people going through grief, like I was.
All I can say is that there is a gift somewhere buried under all the grief you have. For me it is helping people through their journey with grief, if you look at the promise instead of the pain. You can find it in your grief too.