Updated: Sep 17, 2022
This I learned the hard way. I just didn’t have many people I could truly call “friends “. I do have a few real close ones, but I soon discovered many that carried the moniker of friend, simply decided to actively “unfriended” me when they were finished with me.
I kept running into these types of people and ensnaring myself in the same scenarios. I finally had to realize that it was me. I was attracting an element that would betray me in a heartbeat, disrespect me, and mistreat me. What I failed to realize was that I was allowing it to happen. Taking a victims roll, will have you subjected to anything, because you are looking for a savior, instead of taking that valuable inward look, The one that empowers you and raises your self-esteem.
Instead, you are looking for someone else to validate your worth. Doing this will have you truly fall victim to those acting like your friend but treating you like Cesar in the Roman senate chambers. If you don’t get the reference, just understand, that there are a lot of knives in your back.
Understand that people change or sometime, you are just too naive and trusting to see their treachery; either way, it bodes well for you because you are now seeing your betrayers. Do not be upset when you find out who they are, because being upset means that you cared about someone who chose not to care about you. (The truth is wolves come in all shapes, sizes, colors, sexes, and some even have a blood bond with you, but that didn’t matter. Snakes are snakes).
It is easy to say don’t love them, but they may former close friends or family. It is hard to just cut then off out right. You feel you can’t just cut them off but loving them from a telescopes distance is perfectly fine. Do not waste tears on people that have chosen to stab you in the back and do not be obsessed with why they did it. Just know that they did and if given the chance, they would probably do it again. There is your reason (which is based on fact, not conjecture), why it is better to move on.
Thank them for the illusion of friendship and focus on you, not what you left behind. As you continue your forward progress, you will see those back stabbers again. This time, while you're on you are climbing your way up, you will see them speed balling to the bottom and wondering why they are not with their homie, (the one they played).
Unfortunately, the tables have turned for them and fortunately, you have learned to recognize real and distance yourself from fake. That is the value of the back stabber. They will show you, their tricks and now it is on you to recognize them, in others, to avoid any repeats. Haters and backstabber can be assets, just not in the form they made themselves out to be.